his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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