the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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