i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I am available for nakedness
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
