Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Sex in the backyard? Check.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize