is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
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no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
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You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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