Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
