What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
