Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
