I'm really into asian looking animals
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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