I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
