He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
