in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
