My hair reeks of homosexuality.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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