i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
