so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
mondays should just be called national damage control day
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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