farters have to be the big spoon...
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize