ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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