Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
