why didn't you poke me back
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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