we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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