WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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