she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
