absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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