So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
