So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize