An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
