My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
