i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
