Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
