i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
