butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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