So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
