Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
