My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
