There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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