You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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