I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
