One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
