I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
just found out that she named her cat after me.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
