Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
