life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
