when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
