If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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