He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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