I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
