Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize