Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
