No, drunk sperm still make babies.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
