you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
