omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
