i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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