Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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