I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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