16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
