he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
