I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
