all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize