Porn is love you can see.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
