So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
