i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
