Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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