You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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