Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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