pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
