i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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