I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You ate ashes out of my bong
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize