I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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