is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
